Touring with The Yankee and return of the full band!

Movember is coming to an end. I'm quite looking forward to being rid of the straight moustache and getting my beard back. I mentioned that to Gina last week that this crumb duster was annoying and I wanted to shave it, who responded with 'Ya I bet guys with prostate cancer wish they could get rid of there's too."
Touche.
My tour this November took me around Ontario, with stops in Montreal and Buffalo.
50% of the merch sales were going towards my donations for cancer research through the Movember website. (You still can donate if you like) I was surprised out of all the tours I have done, this was my weakest for the sale of merh. When playing I announced what I was doing and every time it got a huge cheer and applause. Making me think that I was about to sell quite a bit. Sadly no. only a few things at each show. Some, sold nothing.
It was what it was and I did manage to get a few dollars for the charity.
So first off was Buffalo to pick up Kelsey Warren, of pILLOW tHEORY, and Alex Kelly, also a musician but came for a few days to hang out.
And, of course,  play at The French Quarter Cafe.
This was the second time I played unplugged. No amp or mic and I have to say it is quite freeing to sing to people and not have to be locked behind a microphone. People of The United States are not familiar with the November mustache. One woman replied when I asked "Is anyone familiar with Movember?"
"Is that with moustaches or something?"
So, I am happy to have educated some fine folks over the border.
The show was fun but not many people out because we booked it 3 days before I showed up.

Over the boarder we go! How did your head get so big Kelsey?

Next was Kingston. I've never been able to get a show here until now and it was at Queen's University, Clark Hall Pub. The crowd was good they were digging the music. But this was a pass the tip jar kind of payment. And really Students don't have much cash on them (or would rather put that money towards beer) Kelsey got $30 and a tampon. the girl said she wanted to give him something special. I was the second to perform so the jug goes around again. Which usually ends up with less tips due to everyone tipping already. I got $5 and change. We opened for a student duo called Maritime Minesweepers. THey are mainly a cover band. Not the strongest singers, but the crowd loved them. They cheered clapped sang along. Everybody loves a cover song.

The Maritime Minesweepers

The after party

Kelsey's "tip"

This was on the wall of where I slept. He kept me company.

We were able to crash at a student house that night which was awesome because $5.00 does not cover the cost of a motel....
We sat around playing Mario Kart and listening to music.
Discussions turned to moustaches,
Dude 1-"If you have a blonde moustache you have crossed the line and probably touch kids. It's a life science."
Dude 2- "But it's not all blonde. There are a couple of light brown hairs."
Me- "Ah a dusting of cinnamon."


Next was Barrie at the good ol' Local Gastropub. I was able to get 3 tickets for the Finger 11 concert that was happening across the street that same night so I gave them away. 2 people donated money for the movember and one guy came up and sang a song for a ticket.
I'm sure the people had a good time at both shows that night.
Kelsey has a song called Blipsters and Buppies with pILLOW tHEORY. I was looking forward to this hearing this song but so far three shows deep he had not played it.
at the end of his set he was saying thanks and such.
I cut him off.
"A standard set is 45 min you played 43 min now play what I want to hear!"
I'm a demanding little drunk, but and worked and here is the song:

 Think cats!

 Now Keep doing cats except neil you hold a recently deceased baby lamb

 Moustache!

Gina Sparrow, Britany Fulton, Neil Crowe, Kelsey Warren, Alex Kelly, Hazy.

Off to St Catherine's again for the Strega Cafe, and again it was not a grand turn out. We played to a couple that came in to watch us and the staff but I like going there. the staff are great the food is good and free drinks. While we were waiting 3 people were walking by we told them to come watch the show and it turns out they too were musicians playing a block away in a 10 piece rock country band or something. They didn't start until 1am so we said you come watch us we'll come watch you. They agreed(but didn't end up coming back to watch us, needless to say we did not go watch them) While chatting with them one turns to me and asks, "Can I have some money?"
"What? How about, you give me some money."
His friend was on my side "What are you doing? They're broke musicians too."
Then he tried to pretend it was a joke. What a fucking retard.

Poutine!

Kelsey sees Niagara Falls for the first time. In honour of this he gives me the finger.

You want to sit in the big boy chair?

Kelsey discover's Kelsey's

3 days off and we just hung around Barrie. Ate Poutine, drank, went to an open mic and I worked a couple of half days (luckily as the tour was not being the money marker I hoped it would be)

Waterloo, Maxwell's music House. A really cool venue but it being on a Wednesday we had a few tables filled and a few at the bar.
This was also the first night of the new shirts. sadly no merch was sold today. It kinda sucks going and spending over $1000 on t-shirts and not selling 1 at your first show with them.
The music sounded great and we opened for a local funk band called The Sofa Kings. They were tight.
Kelsey got sick we ate at a cafe next door and he literally at vegetables on a bun and felt like garbage after. How do you mess up vegetables?

"Stay classy in that red Turtleneck Kelsey Warren."

 Steve

Julien

George's sexiest face.

 NOw for Kelsey's last show with me. in Toronto at The hideout. A great bar that has a set pay rate which was awesome. I was able to hire some musicians, Stephen Dyte, Julien Michaud of Richmond Switch and George Anstey (who I'm sure I mispronounced his name on stage) we practiced twice. We had mistakes but none of them glaring. It was great to play with a full band again it had been over a year. At the end of our set which was what I thought was the 3rd and final one, the owner comes up and says" What are you doing you play until after 2. I'm paying you good money. "
So broke out the guitar and up I went. I played 2 sets already. and because I had the full band I was really giving it on the vocals. So by this third set my voice was struggling. I finished at 2:25. drove back to Barrie, and was in bed by 4:15 I had to get up at 8:45 and get Kelsey to the bus station and then drive 6 and a half hours to Montreal. I was a touch drained. but only 2 more shows to go.

So tiny you are CN Tower!

 Steam Whistle Brewery photo booth

Someone buy my wares. Please?

Here's 2 video's from the show:

Celebrity Status for the bridge I told them to make a lot of noise.

Waiting. Classic Eyeswide

Montreal, the first show I played here was a free one at a cafe called Burritoville. my second was playing at McGill University in The Thompson House. They paid and put me up in a hotel.
I felt very much like rock and roller, I did.
I opened for a great band called Half Moon Run. I hung out with some people at the show who wanted to go out for a drink after ward I said ok and they took me to a campus bar everyone was in white t-shirts that they write on and they were all 19-21 I was the old dude at the club and not wearing white. I lasted all of 5 min. the time it took me to realize the bar tender was more into dancing and eating chicken finger than serving any of the people waiting at the bar. Off to my last show!

A sea of white t-shirted college kids.

Orillia, The Brownstone. I like the Brownstone. It has a good following and again no pay but free food and drinks and pass around the tip jug. and you can make some good tips there.
I also had The Morals come to play. They are my favourite Barrie band and I always look forward to seeing them perform.

That's the tour.
I played a show in Ivy, Ontario for Host a House Concert with Graham Greer, and did  well on  merch sales that night.
I've got time off from playing until next year! Jan 7th is the first show in Barrie at a new bar called the Port.
Lets hope for the best in 2012!
(hopefully I'll have something to blog about in the meantime.)

Lastly, I have recorded a cover of You're a Mean One Mr Grinch, it is download only so If you want to hear a sample of it go to iTunes or CD Baby. When you fall in love with it you can purchase it!
It really does not sound like the original so tell me what you think.


-Neil
www.eyeswide.ca

Christmas in October, Movember, and the Full Band Jam

I've recorded You're a Mean One Mr. Grinch at One Star Studios in Barrie, ON
So far people enjoy the tune. I had my friend Quammie Williams do some percussion on the song floor stomps tambourine, and hand drums.
It was intentionally for a Christmas CD to go out in the December issue of Pie Magazine.
But, I've decided that I'll put it on iTune as well.
It will be up by December... hopefully before.
All depending on when the licence for the use of the song arrives in my inbox.

Shane Heath, Rudi "Quammie" Williams, and Johnny Cash

It is November, also known as "Movember", a month long cause started in Australia to help promote the awareness of prostate cancer.
Donations to the fund can be made HERE.
Eyeswide has become apart of Movember and 50% of the merch sales from the November tour are going towards Prostate Cancer research. so buy some T's and CD's and help the dudes out!


I'm headed over the border tomorrow for a Show in Buffalo at The French Quarter Cafe. I'm always nervous about these shows because I can't say I'm going over to play because I don't have an entertainment visa (which costs over $1000)  I can't bring very much, if any, Merchandise.

**And actually now that I'm writing this again I have already been there. Getting over the border was fine. Gina takes the wheel puts on her glasses and looks all proper. I sit idly in the passenger seat hoping they don't ask me any questions or want to search the car and find CD's hidden about.**


I've been rehearsing with 3 other musicians for a full band set at The Hideout in Toronto. I'm pretty excited about it. THe first time I practiced with Julien Michaud of Richmond Switch he didn't have a left handed guitar (obviously he is left handed) so he just played an upside down right handed guit and played some great leads and solos.
He's a talented guy that one.

We started off having the drums face the wall for spacial purposes. We soon changed that.

Neil with the Movember 'stache 10 days old.

I've got some rehearsals (I keep forgetting to put the 1st "a" in rehearsals, not a fan of that "a") recorded from an iphone and was going to post one and have anyone who wanted to hear them all could do so by donating any amount of money .50- $20.00.
Not a bad Idea I thought and when I went to go to my donation page link I found out the button did not work on my website. I check the buttons in the store page of my site and they also do not work.
Since the beginning of my site I've had unworkable buttons.
I'm an idiot.
You'd think that I would make sure those things worked...
But alas it is now fixed the Donation button is up and running and you are free to get those rehearsal recordings!  Go HERE to donate.
The majority of the songs are not on the album In Three Days.
Here's one of the songs Celebrity Status. (also dubbed Celery Stalks)
This was the 1st time the full band got together to play so there is some fun stuff in there.

Celebrity Status Rehearsal

SOCAN is fantastic.
I just found out that The Orchestra London Canada played my song "Smile" at one of their performance.
Did they contact me?
Nope.
They listed their performance and songs on SOCAN and that earned me $104
No communication needed. Just a nice deposit in my bank!
I wish I could have heard what it sounded like.

I'm in the middle of my November tour with Kelsey Warren.
I'll write about that next blog when the tour is over.

-Neil
www.eyeswide.ca

A Teacher's Life

On my Jango site, which is online radio, listeners can like your songs and become fans. They can even write comments. One considerate fellow after liking a song of mine had written "gtfh", in my comment section. I did not know what it meant. Perhaps some street slang for the awesomeness that had bombarded his ears when my song come up?
I went to urban dictionary to find out what the meaning of "gtfh" was.
Go to fucking Hell.
Really? Go to fucking Hell.
You, miscellaneous internet user, out of your own accord take the effort to become a fan of mine so you could tell me to go to Hell.
Well if that ain't gumption....

So I've been home for a while  and have been working whenever possible.
When I started teaching back in 2004-2006 I used to write mass emails about my teacher tales.
Let's relive that and share some of my current teaching tales.

Let me set up scenario one.
I was working at a particularly rough school. A school I do not often go to.
The regular teacher warned me. "This is a difficult class. If they are acting up have them removed, call the office."
If only it were so easy.
I called the office 3 times about kids who have left the class ran away or would not leave the room. They answered my phone call once.
There was this girl who was quite over weight for her age, wearing an all red outfit. Red sweat pants with a red t-shert that was smaller than t shirt should be. It did not meet the pant line and showed off her large grade 5 belly.
The school had a dress code. No tank tops. No belly shirts. But I guess if the shirt is too small and cannot contain your belly it's alright.
A boy had went to the washroom. ( a boy who was not allowed to go alone for fear of what he might do) but did not sign on the board that he was leaving.
Kool Aid saw that, ( sorry I know it's mean but if you had met this girl you would have disliked her as much as I did) and said "If he can  leave I can leave!"
"No, he asked. Sit down"
"No!! I'm leaving!!!"
And storms past me.
Did I mention we are  not allowed to touch students, even from leaving a class room?
Crazy, right?
I call the office. "So and so has left, ignoring me, blah..."
and they did nothing.
The boy who went to the washroom, with the lad who is not allowed to go alone, comes in the room and says that man-child-girl is pulling the other boy into the girls washroom.
I go down and check and she has this kid in a strangle hold dragging him across the floor in to the girl's room.
I tell her to stop and she runs off.
That was with in the first 20 minutes of being in this room.
Teaching is not all math and spelling.

*Side note- I did make notes of things  I wanted to say to her  to make her cry. I would have whispered them while she was hiding under the table (which she did 3 times that day) or anywhere away from earshot from the children so I could claim I did not say them, but deleted them soon after writing them.

So kids like to send notes.
It happens infrequently because now they usually text each other, but to those that don't have a phone an old fashioned note will have to do.
When i apprehend these culprits I ask them for the note and they try to hide it or say they will throw it away anything to not give it to me so it's always some form of dialogue with me ending up firmly saying "I said, Give me the note!"
They hand it over and I usually read allowed a "do you like me?" or "Why don't you like me anymore?" allowed we all have a chuckle at who ever had it and go about our day.
This one time it happened a touch differently, but began in the same manner.
"What do you have there?"
"Just some paper." as he stuffs it into his desk.
"well, give it to me."
"No. I won't read it anymore."
"Give it to me."
"I'll throw it out."
"Give it to me!"
Meanwhile the whole class is watching, like usual, and the kids in his group are all serious.
What's going to happen? is what their look says.
It's always someone in their group who wrote it.
Just say it to them or ask.
He finally hands it over and I go to read it out, but I pause.
it reads:
"Mr Crowe's fly is undone should I tell him?"
I look at the letter. Look up after a moment of silence and say "Ya!" very firmly and walk over to my desk to fix my fly.

There was a student who did not have a very good work ethic and said he finished his work. I asked to see it and it was crumpled up beside his desk. I unravel the mess and read his math work which ask for him to explain the math patern. Start at 1 and w 
"What does this say?"
"Start at 1 and w."
"What does it mean?"
"I dunno."
Genius! A grade 7 on his way to dropping out of high school.

One sharp lad in grade 1 was working  in his journal where they were to write a sentence or 3 and draw a picture. his picture was a mess of potato shapes and, what may or may not, be considered lines, with the the word "me" written below.
"Sorry but you need to write a full sentence that has more than one word."
He takes his book and goes back to his desk to complete his masterpiece.
10 minutes later he shows me "me and my mom."
Fair enough. It's a complete sentence.
I scan the other pages of his journal and they all say "me and my mom"
complete with odd potato shapes and squiggles.
Although, there was the one day he seemed to get creative and wrote "mom and me"
I look forward to reading his first novella.

Sometimes in the younger grades the students ask me, where's Mrs. So-and-so or Mr. Whosiwhatsit?
I tend to say "I've tied them up and locked them in the closet so I could take over the class."
They always try to open the closet and of course it won't open, and for half the day they are unsure because their tiny brains don't have enough common sense.
On this particular day, a young girl looked at me with eyes wide and mouth agape. She couldn't believe it. Her eyes turned to hate, she looked at me with such malice as she said, "You're not a teacher! A teacher wouldn't do that! You're a stealer! You're a stealer!"
and went to all her friends telling her what I did. I think she was plotting a mutiny of the classroom.

I spent a good 15 minutes discussing respect, what respect is and how to show it.
They al had their input and it was fine. They had to do a journal writing/drawing about it after.

This was my 2nd favourite

He said "I show respect by sharing a swing with my friend.
"What's happening in that picture?"
"Oh that's a war. But don't worry it's up above and the bullets aren't hitting us."
Perfect.

My Favourite, and I wish I took a picture of it, was this was his sentence, "A giant is squashing the buildings."
"It's cool, but we were talking about respect."
"Oh."
"We spent 15 minutes talking about it."
"Really?"
"I wrote the sentence starter on the board that you were to use. It's still there. It says "I show respect by..."
"Oh."

I can't wait to see him at Burger King.
"Uh, I ordered a Whopper."
"Oh."
" and I got a chicken sandwich."
"Really?"
"You took my order. You said it was your favourite sandwich."
"Oh."

Seacrest Out!

-Neil
www.eyeswide.ca

Traveling with girl and dog.

So I've wanted to write some of what's been going on since I've returned home but I'm still behind in travel life.
So let's get to it and I'll keep it short.

So the initial tour was enjoyable me on the road seeing Canada.
Now I'm going back out west. Destination Vancouver.
But not alone.
Gina and Trail are coming with me. Also a big red cargo trailer.
The plan.
Travel to Van City, stop in Saskatoon along the way to play a gig. Write a pluthra of songs in Van, and  return to Ontario with a multitude of shows along the way.

The funny thing is my car had magnets on it promoting my tour, it was paid for by Sleeman. The whole time traveling across Canada I was worried someone might take them. But I worried for naught. I arrived home the magnets still attached to my car.
The morning we are leaving what do I see on my car but an empty rectangle of dirt. Someone in my neighbourhood had swiped one of the magnets, and now has the coolest fridge in the world.
(puns anyone?)

I bought this trailer before I hit the tour and have not driven with it aside from getting it from the previous owners home to it's current resting place.
Packed up. Ready to go. First think I do is jack knife the thing backing out of the driveway and put a dent in my bumper. (an Aside: it doesn't matter Gina ripped the bumper off my car previously exiting from a parking lot and I am still awaiting her replacement...)

What are you pointing at?

Stops to make it to Saskatoon: Sault Ste. Marie, Thunder Bay, Winnipeg. Visiting family along the way.

Here some classy Gina moments.

Early on I was tired so Gina took over.
"Why don't you close your eyes for a bit." she says
Alright.
I get 5 seconds before...
"Why didn't you go out last night? Did you stay out with Hazy? He looks good, eh?"
Roar.
"You told me to close my eyes!"
"I didn't think you were actually trying to sleep!"

Another favourite Gina moment was in Sault Ste Marie.
Again she was driving (She's like my chauffeur) and I was navigator.
"Take a left up here."
she starts to turn.
"No, at the lights. These are train tracks."

Driving 7 hours so far, I'm pretty tired. Gina's bouncing around in good spirits.
"We're pretty perky for having driven 7 hours!"
"No, you are you just had a red bull."
"Oh ya!"

                                                              Good thing she's cute.

My dog will not relax in the car.
He braces himself the whole ride and when we stop he is so exhausted he falls asleep fairly quickly.
and if we go over rumble strips he does this.

A Frightened Trail

Saskatoon was a fun little place. Spadina Free House was a really busy bar, but I was clearly back-ground noise.
Lots of conversations going on.
I was surprised that people did come up to me afterward and tell me they enjoyed the music.

After the show with no place to stay we needed to find a motel. We were warned that Saskatoon was quite expensive place to stay and true enough it was.
The dingiest hotel we could find was still $100 for the night. Which would have taken away almost all my pay.
So, I had the killer idea of driving out of town and finding a cheaper place in a small township.
Driving down the highway in the Prairies at 1am was not a fantastic thing to do. I was very tired and it was very dark. All I could see was 2 red lights of a car in the distance.
I drove for a an hour before coming up to a place that wanted $90 I was too tired to find somewhere else. So whatever township we were at took our money.


Next was Calgary, to Salmon Arm, then over the border to Mount Baker.

While in Salmon Arm I was asked "Where's your trailer plate?"
"Uh what?"
Apparently I'm to have gotten a licence plate for my trailer. whoops well I'm in BC now, and made it hear with no trouble I'll wait until I get back to Ontario.
I have now since gotten the plate. but haven't attached it. It sits in the car.

Mount Baker was awesome we spent 2 relaxing booze infused days there.
We had a cottage at the base of the mountain, and it was just what we needed after driving 8-5 hours everyday for the past 6 days. it was nice to get up and not go anywhere.
We had good food friends and nature.

Topless Crowe sunning and strumming

I don't know why but I kept forgetting we were in the US rather than Canada.
I think because I don't usually go over the borders to get away from city life.
But it was fantastic going for jogs in the forest going up the mountain being around snow and ice but still be in shorts and a t-shirt.
Up in the mountain there are glacier pools some, the colder ones, have ice still on them.
I went up to my knees felt numbing pain and said  "Not for me."
Gina on the other hand dives in.
gets out screams a triumphant banshee viking warrior cry and jumps back in.
So what. You think you're better than me?
I went up a little higher and found a pool that didn't have any ice and quietly waded in and swam alone.
It was still very cold!

Off to White Rock to visit with Gina's family then  finally our destination. Vancouver!
We were extremely lucky. We had planned on renting out a place for 3 weeks that would have cost us well over a grand.
But good ol' Facebook came to the rescue.
Gina posted that we were coming to Van City and were looking for a place to stay.
A friend of hers just happened to be leaving for Italy for the month and we could stay at his place fre of charge. And better yet it was right between Gas Town and China Town.
Couldn't of had a better location.
We were excited to be able to save some money.

3 years ago Gina bought me a painting from someone off the street for $10 dollars. I loved it and every time she went back to Van I asked her to find the guy who painted it and get another one.
But never saw him.
THe night we arrived and settled in the pratment. we walked Trail around the block.
and some dude zoomed by us.
"Gina says "That's Foster!"
"Who?"
"The  guy who did your painting!"
So within 10 minutes of being in the city, we've managed to find the guy who's been alluding us for the past 3 years.

There's the man.

Ken Foster is an interesting fellow and has done work for tv and music video's. The Rolling Stones Saint Of me Video he did the art and had lots of offers for more work but...
he is also schizophrenic and bi polar. Then started to use crack to self medicate against his symptoms.
So now sadly he paints and sells it on the street for way less than it's worth.
Before we left Gina did hook him up with some work at a restaurant they wanted 3 large murals.
She's good like that.

Ken said he had a big cubicle wall that he wanted to paint so we gave him some cash and said we'd take what ever he painted. here's what he made.

To get the piece I had to go to where he lived It's one of those old hotels that house drug addicts.
Not the cleanest of places. piss on the floor of the elevator dirty walls horrible smells, people slumped in corners passed out.
And if you have not shared an elevator with 6 crack and heroin fiends.
Then my friend, you haven't lived.

One woman, in fine form, traded her lighter for a bit of heroin, (this was in the hotel lobby) then screamed her head off that it wasn't enough to get high. The other woman who gave her the drugs was adamant that it was.  They hurled fucks, bitches, and shit heads at each other until we were on the elevator. Then we all casually joked at how crazy that junkie was for not thinking that that wasn't enough heroin to get high, Ha ha ha. That silly bird.
(get me out of this elevator I thought)

Walking down the hall way some other lady was happily singing away as she tried to scrub the words "cunt" and "bitch" from her door. Someone got artistic and marked her door up in the late evening.

After leaving the place I asked Gina,"Wasn't that the dirtiest place you've ever been?"
"No. Bangkok. They had shit and blood on the walls there."
Awesome.

I got my piece and I'm very happy with it. Walking down the street many of the drug fiends would say how nice the piece was and offer a hand to carry it.
I really don't know why I didn't take them up on it. It was heavy and awkward.
I could have abused their desperation and paid a dollar to have it carried  for me.

Here's a fun fact.
There's a street off Hastings that shuts down on Sunday afternoons so the people of the street can peddle their wares.
Car phone chargers, VHS tapes, magazines, dirty broken toys, all laid out on filthy blankets, or just placed on the street. Basically it's a collection of what they found or stole that week.

Red Bull.

I was surprised by how little time we had to relax. I was expecting to have all this free time and write a whole mess of new songs. In the end I completed 3 new ones and about 3 song structures that, as of today, I have not completed yet.

We had some brief moments of spontaneity in the city of Vancouver.
Out for a drink with a friend Dave Hamilton, (a fantastic photographer check out his stuff HERE) we ended up meeting up with a couple of his friends.

Dave's Studio.

They were actors, one of which, Katie, was killed by Jason Vorhees in Freddy Vs Jason. They got us into a couple of cool clubs. One where you were not allowed to take a picture, use a cell phone, or tell anyone that it was there.
They also made shitty drinks.
So maybe not so cool.
Fun time nonetheless.

I can give acting tips.

"Next time you get killed in a movie do this!"

Also, stay on my lap.

A resemblance?

Gregg, a friend of ours, was flying up from San Francisco to spend the weekend.
The plan was Gina would go with her friend up to Whistler then Gregg and I would cruise up after I scoop him from the airport.

Dear, dear Gregg. (with 3 g's)

But alas we didn't get away from the port until close to 11 and so plans changed. Gina was in Whistler drinking her little face off while the total amount of alcohol consumed by two grown men was 4.
Everywhere had a line up that looked to be a minimum of a 30 minute wait. Neither of us put up with lines so we resided in 2 dinner/ lounge bars.  A drink in each.
While trying to find a bar up ahead on the walk is some tall lanky fellow wearing a Zack Morris type sweater, and an over sized flat brim hat, walking towards us with quite the swagger. There were 2 girls behind us and we heard him say "Let me check out these fly ass biddies."
and slowly walked by the girls giving them the creepiest look.
The look was mainly directed at their tits.
I have stolen this move and added it to my own repertoire on how to not pick up girls.

Also there was this guy.

He robbed a girl of her balloons and 3 bouncers chased him down the street and dropped him hard to the ground.


Since we were not getting into any good bars this night we decided we'd go to a local strip bar. Of course we had no idea where they were and hopped in a cab.
"We'd like to go to a gentleman's club, good sir."
"Uh, well, I think the last one closed done a year a go."
"What?"
"Ya the city is really strict on that."
"There's no way Vancouver does not have a strip club!"
"Oh a strip club! We got plenty of those I thought you wanted a sex club."
Vancouver Apparently has classy rip joints because we did not have proper shoes to get into half of them but cabby-extraordinaire said he knew where to take us.
A place called Orange or something of the like.
He drops us off.
We pay.
Walk over to the door.
It's Locked.
Turn around and cabby is driving away.
We walked to McDonald's
then went home and fell asleep in the same bed.
2 drinks a piece and I'm in bed with a dude.
My mom would be proud.

It's not what you think!

After 2 and a half weeks we were ready for home and 6 shows
Calgary, Regina, 2 in Kenora, Sault Ste. Marie, and Barrie.

Photo Booth!

Calgary round 2 THe Blind Beggar Pub was great. The bands ha fans out I even had fans come out (Imagine That!)
I played a new song for the first time, called Welcome Back Old Fear. The audience were responsive to it. I was pleased.

Regina round 2 is technically round one since I had food poisoning and lost my car key. This time I opened up for the Ontario band Adam's Rib. Again the place was packed! It was awesome, people were listening tapping toes, people were buying merch it was good. The place doesn't usually have acoustic acts but people dug it. Off the top of my head I can not remember the venue name.

This was our dance crew for the evening

Adam's Rib

At the end of the night we had no place to stay and Gina managed to get quite intoxicated the sound man and some new friends we met kept getting us drinks. It couldn't be helped I suppose.
Also because of the Roughriders game that evening there were no hotels available.
Another night of driving in pitch black but this time I had a near empty tank and a rambling drunk in the car.
"It's like Jersey Shore."
"What is?"
No response.

"If the cops pull us over will they ask Trail questions?" (Trail is my dog)
"Stop talking."

"You're Driving! Do you know where you're going? Are you ok to drive these guys?"
"There's no one else here."
"Oh, ok."
"Do you feel strong enough to drive everyone to Vancouver?"
"There's no one else here!"
"You are."

I got quite worried of running out of gas on the highway but my iphone said that there were 3 gas stations in some little town 15km up ahead.
They were all closed.
the first motel was booked up but luckily the other one in town had a vacancy and was only $65.
Come the morning Gina had no idea where we were, or how much she annoyed me in the car.

Kenora, on a Monday and Tuesday. I didn't expect much.
 I played at The Cornerstone the first night it was busy, but sadly not many were there to hear music. I struggled to be heard over loud conversations. I tried 2 new songs Welcome Back Old Fear and for the 1st time Sleeping in The Kitchen.

2nd night was at Shooters. It was dead. I did manage to get some ladies to dance when I covered Adele's Rolling in the Deep.
They were the kind of ladies that like other ladies.

Some of the finer people in Kenora.

Leaving Kenora, heading towards Thunder Bay. Gina was driving and then all f a sudden there was a rumbling sound and bumping.
"Did you just blow a tire?" I asked
"No, I'm slowing down and the wind on the trailer is making it do that."
Does this look like wind on a trailer?

Sault Ste. Marie. Lop Lop's, Another night I didn't expect much. After seeing how many people came to see Broken Social Scene and Bedouin Soundclash, what chance did I have?
And true to form there were a handful off folks in half of which only wanted to drink Scotch.

Some of the fine folks that came out plus The Owner Steve. 

We were instructed to not look at the camera.

I've tamed the ornery moose.

Finally back home in Barrie. When we arrived it hit me. I was tired.
3 months of travel will do that to you.
I set up At The Local and I played pretty mellow and kept banter to a minimum. Usually I play my sets longer than usual going over an hour for each, but tonight straight up 45 min sets I had no energy.
I packed up and headed straight home to bed.
I needed to get ready for the day job.

-Neil
www.eyeswide.ca