Summer Tour Part 1 or Another Delayed Blog

I’m currently sitting shot gun on the eastern side of Saskatchewan to play in Regina. I figured it’s a good time to write.

I’ve waited quite awhile to write this and I’m hoping that my spotty memory and iphone notes will help me write about this summer tour.

Let’s see “Gypsy chief goliath pigeon.” 

I wrote that down?

What is that supposed to remind me of?

Ugh. Well here we go…

Lindsay, ON: The Division House

This is a house concert venue run by the members of  The DGB (Daniel Greer Band) They also live there, or did, as that was one of the last shows they were putting on. The band was giving up the house and touring the country for the next 4 months. They would then decide where to live.

The house was a party house similar to those you would read about in the Guns and Roses Motley Crew autobiographies, just with less hard drugs and less loose women, but on par for cleanliness.

When I first got there the boys were cleaning up, kind of. They would pick up a can or bottle from one area of the room leave the other 4 or 5 pieces of trash go to another part of the room do the same and repeat. So I started to clean up.

The Division House is a music scene for teens-mid 20’s. I was clearly the oldest dude there. But it’s got a good following, or had, a place for kids to hang out drink and get high in a safe environment.

Daniel started the show off, He is a great personality, looks kinda like Heath ledger in Lords of Dog Town a raspy voice and a great laugh.

See how smokey it is ?

My favourite quote from him was:

“In Grade 8 I wore big clothes, now the style is tight. It’s working out for me, I haven’t bought new clothes since I was twelve.”

Also while playing  a song coming to the end he asks the crowd

”What chord do end this on?”

Cassie Noble, the local tattoo artist, had sing alongs to her original songs which I have yet to get going, mayhap my lyrics are not so memorable, or people don’t know what the fuck I’m saying.

Before my set I had to take frequent brakes to go out side for fresh air. The basement was so cloudy with weed and cigarette smoke my eyes were so dry.

I end the night by sleeping on a dirty cigarette burned mattress.

Brighton, ON The Yacht Club

I have a cousins in Lindsay, I called Tracey up and asked if she wanted a house concert, I’ll be in the area and the day off. She was excited because it was it was John’s Birthday. She agreed but called the next day saying it was moved to the Yacht Club because there were so many people.

Yacht Club! I think, well well  do I have to dress nice?

No.

It was a boat house for Yacht’s but just a hang out for boaters. No members only jackets or anything like that.

Ottawa, ON The Rainbow/ Avant Garde

2 night’s in Ottawa. I don’t usually book 2 shows  at 2 different venues, but when I’m unknown and have no following, It’s not going to really affect the liquor sales at the bars.

These were not great shows. It was The week of The Ottawa Blues Fest.

The first night I was at The Rainbow also playing that night was My Morning Jacket and Death From Above 1979 among other such popular bands.

And when I went to the Rainbow I thought I was playing with local acts, you know people that would bring in fans? 

No, there were 2 other touring acts. 

Needless to say I played to the other bands and the dudes that worked there.

The next night I was at The Avant Garde opening for a instrumental Funk band. They pulled in few  people but there were maybe 10 or 12.  I played here the last time I came through.

The brightside is that I went from 3 people ignoring me at this bar, to 12 people ignoring me.

That’s a 300% growth of ignorance!

That night The Blues Fest had Metric Jane’s Addiction and Rise Against I think? I can’t remember the full line up.

The next day I was ready to get out of our Nation’s Capital. But the city had it’s claws in me. I got into a car accident.

It was my fault but the city tricked me. I came under a bridge in the left lane. Beside me was a granite meridian Then 2 other lanes. After the light turned green I began a left turn and a truck ripped up beside me going in the same direction on the other side of the meridian. I was on a one street. My front bumper ripped off and it snowed Styrofoam for the next 20 seconds.

The car was driveable. but stayed unfixed until Sept 6 when I brought it to a bodyshop in Vancouver. The damage took 9 days to fix.

The guy I hit couldn’t have ben nicer and helped me reattach the bumper with wire. I felt doubly bad when the cop gave him a ticket for not having the proper insurance card on him.

Onward I go through Quebec to New Brunswick…

Just A nice scenic shot leaving Quebec

Driving through Quebec takes some time So I needed a place to crash I chose some randomly named Motel. I asked if there were a pub close by that I could get a drink .

“The bar is attached to the Motel!”

"Alright I’ll see you there!”

I settled in the room and go out side. Around back is this white door with this small sign on it

“Club Bar”. 

Snazziest sign I've ever seen.

Inside it was older folks I believe that the requirement of women in this place was having a smoker’s cough.

Driving to Fredericton I saw the sign Potato World Musem! Florenceville.

No Thank you.

Practice Spot.

Fredericton, NB The Capital Complex

This was a last minute gig I emailed my friends from She Roars! They just so happened to have a listening party for their upcoming CD and needed an opener.

This is a great little venue. I would love to go there again.

But alas, just like most concerts not as many people come out for the opener. I had a sparse crowd but when  Oh No, Theodore came on it seemed everyone came out of the woodwork and stayed right to the end of She Roars! They have a solid fan base in their home town…I wonder what that’s like….

Roaming the bar after my set again found I was older than most.

I heard this come from some dude in a flat brim hat.

“Ugh, I’m turning 20 next week.” With such disdain that there could be no worse thing to happen to him in al of l his existence.

I’m 31 I’m fine. Despite being beleaguered by some white hairs in my chin…

Everyone around is about 20, one fine lad was smoking a pipe. Put it away hipster.

At my merch table a very drunk girl came up to me a said what I would hear multiple times on this tour.”

“Oh my God you look like ------ (whatever his name is) -----From True Blood!”

“I don’t know who that is.”

Turns out he is the werewolf guy on the show. I googled a picture of him sometime later.

"You must talk to girls all the time.”

"No, actually I don’t, I’m not one to abuse the power of the musician. To make sure of this I make sure to not have clever banter in between songs.”

I crashed on a couch at friends of  She Roars! Where I was forced to stay up and watch Modern Family. I was not allowed to sleep. I was also requested I eat strawberries.

Before the show I wondered town and saw Red Coat Soldiers marching around.

I asked someone “Do you feel safer with them kickin’ around?”

“They keep away the zombies.”

Good answer.

They are just for show apparently they are just college kids with summer jobs no combat skills or authority. They might as well be soft mannequins.

Watch out! Syphilis is coming!

Sackville, NB Bridge Street Cafe

Afternoon show. I don’t know if I was there and people ignored me or if I had an invisibility cloak on, but as I’m playing people are sitting and reading novels, studying, working on there laptops. I mean I don’t play a lot of soft background noise tunes some are heavier rock songs. But they were deep into their Twilight or Harry Potter.

The show ended I went over the provincial border to Amherst in Nova Scotia to try and scramble up music for a room to sleep. It did not work So I headed to St John’s, NB. This is a very difficult city to drive through it is so twisty and hill riddled that I got lost twice trying to find a hostel I had booked. The hostel was not in a great area of town and for some reason all the men and boys were fat and shirtless. Sitting out on the porch standing on the sidewalk. Staring at me as I slowly cruised the decrepit neighbourhood hoping it would suddenly turn into  some clean bright Pleasantville-like area where I would not have any fear of leaving a car loaded with equipment in the driveway. That never happened so I bolted, not before getting lost trying to get on the highway again, for Fredericton…. Ring Ring ring girls can I use your couch again? Yes I could!

So back to Fredericton where I watch more Modern Family!

This note was in my iPhone I remember it happening but don’t remember where.

Let me set the scene:

I was at a bar.

Scene set.

2 girls got my attention and said

“Just so you know we’re a lot of fun.”

Alright, great conversation starter.

“So on a scale of 1-10 what’s your score. 7, 8, 9?” I ask.

“Well on a scale of 5 we are a 4.5.”

“That’s too bad I only deal with 2.5’s”

and walked away.

Back to the tour.

Woodstock,NB New Ground Cafe

Hear I was offered a place to stay at the office on a futon or to stay 30 min away at a cottage on the lake.

Lake Please!

No phone service, beer in the fridge, a kayak and the water.

It was awesome. I didn’t even care that 4 people came to the café to hear me. I even stayed an extra day there.

While roaming I found a good ol’ boy local pub

As I sat drinking my beer in the corner one fellow, who was by himself, orders a porn star.

The Server asks the shot or the drink?

He ponders for a moment “the drink, but make it a double!”

The waitress of course had to look at the drink making chart.

I don’t think that’s a regular order on a Tuesday afternoon.

 I met a fellow there who invited me to a barbeque.

“We’re makin ribs!”

“I’m in.”

Ribs, burgers, beer, rye, and poker.

Also there was a room for of deer heads in the basement.

I’m glad they weren’t human heads of people they lured to there house promising ribs and burgers.

*Side note

While driving I do not like to stop I want to get to where I am going as quick and as early as possible and that leaves me to eat on the go, Causing a lot of unwanted McDonald’s stops. I don’t like the burgers so I thought I’d try the McRib. I had so much McRib. I just went for that because it wasn’t a burger. I don’t know what is in a McRib but is is so sloppy with BBQ sauce that what ever the McRib is it is undetectable to your tastebuds. I’m glad the McRib is gone. McRib.

Moncton, NB Plan B

Moncton has Poutine Pizza!

As I waited for my order a family of 3 were deciding what to get . Mom, dad, and baby girl.

Dad  says “Lets get Taco Pizza!”

Mom says” But I’m watching what I eat.”

Dad says "It’s just tomato, beef, and onion, it’s basically healthy!”

So they order that, and she get s a panzoraotti as well.

Mom watching her weight had looking at her food while she put it in her food hole.

I like Plan B I’ve played there twice and it’s nice to come in and know Tracey and J Byrd are going to be there it’s a home/family feeling in that bar.

Before the show I wandered around to some pubs and invited a couple to Plan B for the show.  I went home to nap up before start time.

I am awakened by banging on the aprartment door that is above the bar. 

I wake up and a guy says "Are you Neil?"

"Ya."

"You got a show tonight."

Oh shit it’s 10:30!

I was to start at 10

I brush my teeth throw on a hat set  up and start. The people I had invited waited 45 minutes at the bar before I started. They left shortly after. I would too. I felt bad. But not that bad since the local musician I booked to share the stage with me did not show up.

He said he didn’t remember then I vaguely remember that. 

This will not be the first time the local band does not show up for a gig on my tour. Tis just the beginning.

*Side Note-I wanted to pick up a hitchhiker. I didn’t care if they robbed me just drive the car now!

Moncton to Montreal. long drive.

Montreal, QB Burritoville

That’s right, Burritoville. No one has heard of this place even people from Montreal, but they have good food good servers and a nice stage upstair for rent and a decent free area downstairs. Daniel of The DGB recommended it and they had the night available.

Too bad it was a heat wave and they had no airconditioning. Before starting to play I had soaked through my T-Shirt.

The first set people were in the back room as I played. No one was in the front room or even the middle room. In between songs I would ask them to come up front and keep me company. 

They did not.

I’m going to go with they didn’t speak English and felt it was rude to come so close to a performing musician. That’s prolly it….

McDonald’s again. On their tray liner they boast that only the best potatoes are used.  I’m glad to see they have such high standards for the brown lump that grows in the ground rather than say, the employees who work there, or the “100%” beef they use in there burgers.

I have “Two men against abortion” written down.

Make up your own story for that.

Sault Ste Marie, ON

No show just stopped in with the day off. Very long drive from Montreal.

Needed a drink. Texted my friend from Steam  Whistle to say I was here. Next moment there’s a phone call and Neil’s got a free bar tab!

While sitting and drinking a girl leans between me and the person siting beside me.

She smells of chicken fingers, i thought.

Turns to me and relays the following information

“I just threw up in my mouth a few minutes ago.”

Right on.

She reminded me of that Ke$ha chick. Just a little dirtier.

She ran into me coming out of the washroom.

"Wanna bang in the corner?”

“I don’t think those pieces of plywood (there was ply wood in the corner) will make a good sex fortress.” And went up stairs. 

But not before showing her that when the plywood leaned up together they did not hold very well.

Thunder Bay, ON Ruby Moon

Home town show. I don’t think people remember I’m from there. Or they do and are trying to forget.

This is a cool venue. People come in for dinner and stay for the music. Normally that is what happens today the venue was closed until 9. (my start time) because they were catering a wedding. So no one was there till 930m, and even then it was fairly weak turnout. The people who were there were great. They talked with me bought some merch. 

It's too bad those horrible people had there stupid wedding on the day of my show.

Jerks.

The day after the show I did a pub crawl and ran into Prevail and Rob The Viking and some other dude from The Swollen Members. 

Pub Crawl Partner, T. Jack.

Prevail and I traded phone numbers and invited me to come to Kitsalano when I'm in Vancouver. 

Why didn't you respond to my text Prevail?!?!

We had a date!

Did you invite someone else to your fancy barbecue?

Did you?

You broke my heart.

And Neil wept.

Happier times....

Passing through Manitoba. I’ll hit you on the ay back but I did stay in Brandon for a night I was asked to go visit Gina’s aunt whom I never met before in my life. I go to her nursing home up to her room.

“Stella? My name’s Neil. Gina asked if I’d come visit you. I’m traveling across Canada.”

“No. I’m not up.  No.”

She was fully clothed laying on her bed.

“Uhhhh, alright maybe another time?”

“Ya that would be better.”

And that was my visit. She kicked me out.

So, I went to See Captain America. It was not good.  End of review.

At one point around Thunder Bay I started to pee alot. like every hour or so. and just suddenly too. I would be driving and would be hit with a sudden intense need to go so slam on the brakes and off to the side of the highway. after a few days of this I ask Gina what's wrong with me. after a quick google search she figures I could have a prostate problem. 

Awesome. 

A day of worrying I ask "Hey I've been taking Echinasia pills recently because I was getting a sore throat, could that have anything to do with me pissing all the time?"

"Ya they are a diarrhetic! How many have you been taking."

"Three...three times a day."

Needless to say that is excesive. My prostate is fine. ANd I now pee at a more normal rate.

Moose Jaw, SK Java Express

I thought the café was called 23 Main Street Café. Since that was the title of the venue when I applied to and it was the name they gave me through our email contact.

Turns out no one knows what 23 Main Street Café is because it’s called Java Express.

I had 3 people in the café one guy walked in and asked “Why is it so dead in here.” I had no answer.

I also had no place to sleep and got a motel with the no money I made this day.

People of Moose Jaw look out for Moose walkers.

Birch Hills SK The Fusion Café

This was a very small town 1000 people small. Only half of the roads are paved.

While I waited for the café to open I stopped in to the only bar. It was in rough shape and I was told flooding. Somewhere between 1 and 2 feet of water in the basement. Also the ceiling looked to be folding and rippling.

The Café was great. I play in between meals during a 3 course dinner. The people all listened quietly while I played. That’s a rarity. And I was asked to do a few songs unplugged, which I rarely do, but actually quite enjoyed.

The Mayor of Birch Hills' home.

Calgary, AB The Blind Beggar Pub

When I was a kid I used to play a game where when I went for a pee I’d walk farther away from the urinal to see how far I could get. I started to do this while in a Taco Time bathroom. But soon realizd that towards the end of the pee you have to hussle back to the urinal before you piss on the floor. Also I thought what would I say if someone walked in and saw me 6 feet from the urinal with a big arching stream of urine shooting through the air.

“Just doing the pee distance game.”

A meal fit for kings, also known as a meal for those who are constipated.

I opened for Stone Cartel aka Nickleback aka Theory of a Dead Man. I wasn’t too impressed with the band, Because they did not promote the show at all. 

You see, as a touring act in cities I’ve never been too, I rely on local acts to bring in the fans, if they don’t do that I’m playing to know one.  They had a show at another venue in the city the following day, and told there fans about that one, not the show I was apart of. Well At least I drank for free. Thanks old dude who kept buying me shots!

Driving into Calgary, This didn't seem like a warm welcome.

It led to a hail storm.

Sorry Torrington AB, Since I did not go to the Potato Museum. I will not go to your Gopher Hole Museum.

Alright I’m taking a break and ending part one of the tour blog. Plus if I kept going it would be one long ass read.

Part 2 will come shortly.

-Neil

www.eyeswide.ca

The Tour Is Over And I Need A Haircut

It's done 6 weeks on the road all over this crazy country.
I've had awesome shows, weak shows, NO shows, food poisoning, car crashes, races through the mountains, cliff jumping, child births- basically it was like a new James Bond movie.
I'll be writing about my travels very shortly but it may take me a few days. here's a photo of me after not shaving or cutting my hair on this adventure.

Striking, I know.

Off to get a hair cut and a shave. I'm thinking a short style for a change.

Anyway check back to see my travel blog!

I wrestled a bear.

...no I didn't

Birthday/Tour/Race aka Neil's busy

So big weekend was just had.
This Thursday I garnered a new year in the age market,
and got a couple of great presents.
1st one, an iphone.
I no longer have the old 1999 flip phone.

I am one with the current trends.
I can get updates instantly, send out emails where ever I am,
begin Twittering!  (Which I have done! Brilliantly I might add.) @eyeswidemusic
Most important I can view porn at a moments notice.
I'm pretty sure that's why handheld computer type systems were invented.

I took an easy day on my date of birth. I went to a few of my favourite pubs to have a drink at each and met up with a few people.
Lunch at Furusato Sushi.
No idea if that's how you spell it, No actually calls it by it's name since the sign on their store is just a giant SUSHI all lit up that can be seen from the highway.

THe Bull and Barrel for a mini jug of Big Rock.
Where my friend Kathy found me tucked away in the dark corner of the bar sitting alone.
It doesn't matter that I have old man tendencies already.
Next stop Moxie's for the White Chocolate Brownie and a pint of Grasshopper.
Also Julien was playing there that night. Joined us for a drink before his second set.
Down to The Local for Steam Whistle and Muskoka Summer something Can't remember but it has a banana after taste that at first I found pleasing, now wanting nothing to do with it. Where we met a few more chums.
Not enough ladies there for them so they bolted for another venue where they could put their eyes to work.
Next a short drink break for Ribfest 2011.
Advice from Mr. Crowe.
"Don't go to Ribfest nearing the end of the evening. The will not give you the freshest of ribs.'
At quick stop in Doneliegh's where we found our friends. They had the Carlsberg girls there tonight giving out free beer.

Finish up at Kenzington's with a rye and coke and a shot of  Goldschlager.
Where it was suggested but not actually said that I am a vagina for wanting such a girly shot.
I didn't want to stay out I wanted to be well rested for the 1st show of my Summer tour.
So home I went.

Before the show Gina rolls up in my ride and tells me to come look outside.
(I just seem to always write lyrical magic)

She got Sleeman to sponsor my tour and I get to ride around the country with these killer signs on my car! Go Sleeman!

The show went well. I had a decent turn out. All the tables were filled. Sold some merch. Got some people added to the mailing list. All's well for show #1!
Did try to fit in Dave Matthews Tripping Billies into an original called Before, didn't work out so smooth, It was the first time I tried it. Just thought about it that morning. Just 23 more to go!

Again I couldn't stay out late because I had the Warrior Dash race in the early morning.

First one in Canada held in Horseshoe Valley in Ontario.
It was pretty awesome. but I didn't come out unscathed.

Warrior Dash is a 5km run in a mountainous terrain. It's held all over the world every summer.
People dress up if they want. THere were lots of different costumes, Ghostbusters, vikings, superheroes, Video Game Characters, Sexy girls, guys in full business suits, etc..
It's a fun race but also competitive. Everyone gets a plastic chip on their shoe that keeps track when you pass the start and finish line.
A clever way to get it back is that this plastic chip gets you a free beer. Who in their right mind is gonna lose that?
The race is littered with obstacles. Mud pits rope climbs a junk yard made up of cars and tires, a spiderweb of stretchy ropes,  rope nets that you have to climb up. It's really quite fun.
I wasn't prepared for the hills. I thought there would be one or two. But the whole race consisted of my either going up or down a hill of varying degrees.
Early on maybe 2 KM's in I stubbed my toe on a small tree stump. Didn't think much of it until I felt it swelling in my shoe. after the race taking off my shoe my toe looked like this.

Looked up on the internet broken toe and I get images that look just like this. 

So there you have it. My first broken bone.

There was also bit with this large slip and slide down a hill. As I was running up you could see people not really sliding they had no momentum. I thought run faster. jump and slide all the way down rather than push myself. Off I go landing hard on my ass. and shoot right off in to what I thought would be mud.

It was hard dirt littered with lots of stones. Get up and keep running with a few scrapes and a sore right cheek. 

It did get me ahead of a few other runners.

The ending is a giant mud pit you've got to run through.

Here's a clip of me doing my best to get through.

The Start!

 My dirty, dirty runners.

This is how you get clean.

I'm actually leaving for the first out of town show tomorrow in Brighton, ON. I've got some preparations to make so This may be my last blog for a while I will be updating the Facebook and twitter so check out those to see what's going on around Canada. @eyeswidemusic

-Neil

www.eyeswide.ca

Sans Sober aka Clarity Not Needed.

3:30 am I walk into my house  and speak a loud "Why is it so hot in here?"
Momentarily perplexed as to why it is actually hot in this building.
Come to my senses...
No air conditioning.
Drunk.
No concept of reality.
I brought a leaf home for Gina.
Bonus Crowe!
Blankets not needed.
Too awake to sleep.
write pointless Facebook message but decide to make it a blog at last minute.
Copy and paste.
Realized if you do not write Facebook with a capital F it is not recognized as a word.
Just remembered, forgot to go to Jeff's house party.
I blame Edwin.
Also blame the guy who I argued with about selling out as a musician.
I explained that I was right in the argument.
For the reason that in most arguments I am usually right from my point of view.
Had to spell check argument.
Since I spelled it arguement.
Apparently it is not the correct spelling while encumbered with alcohol.
I will find a photo to spice up this triad.

End of the Season and What did I buy?

So Today I taught my last class of this School year.
One day early School ends tomorrow, but I've got an early morning Rogers TV appearance.
And really, what are the chances of someone calling in sick on the last day.
I can't say it was much of teaching though. I literally played board games all day. Sequence was my game of choice. I destroyed those grade 6's.

So For the past 5-6 weeks I've had a cough, all through my New York Tour, the shows before it and after it, my throat was tickled.
(If you didn't watch the Video with footage from the Tour Do it now!)

I have been very frustrated with this. Being a singer it's not great breaking a line with a coughing fit. To avoid the coughs I had to HOld back the voice a lot. Not holding notes as long, not singing with as much "aggression" as I like to, and in some cases not even attempting the song.
I've been to the doctors twice so far, I've tried cough medicine, Allergy medicine, a puffer, Cold fx pills, nothing worked, I've been x-rayed. Lungs are clear. I've been looking on the interweb to see what I can find out and I may have post nasal drip. I've been taking an antihistamine and decongestant. We'll see how that goes, If it doesn't work I've got a 3rd appointment lined up... on my birthday.

The Jul/August Tour is pretty much set. There are a few confirmations I'm working on But I guess They don't get to be on my snazzy poster.

Not that I've been able to send any of them out because of the Canadian Postal strike. 

While booking his tour I got to look at a bunch of hunky Firemen. I needed a calendar to help keep track of the dates and the only one we had in the house just happened to be Barrie's Firefighters. 

Sweet Mr August!

I'm all over Canada this Summer, Vancouver, Calgary, Winnipeg, Thunder Bay, Moncton, to name but a few. Head to the Facebook event page To see all the cities and venues and sign yourself up for the attending side of things. HERE

I had planned to get new t-shirts made up with the tree logo. But the fellow I went through is unreachable. I had such a good deal, all the other companies feel outrageously overpriced to me. One company wanted over $10 a shirt!

It's getting pretty late since July 8th is the start. So we'll see If I'm able to come up with something.

If anyone has a suggestion for Screen printing t-Shirts send me a message.

I've made some purchases.

Musically. 

Eddie Vedder Ukelele Songs

THis is one of the best purchases, not for the songs, but for the cd Case it self. THe songs are good, but It's rare when you get a really cool case It's like a hard cover book every page is a cool photo of Ed in Hawaii and the other page is the lyrics. 

Like I said solid songs. He picks some great covers. I'm a big fan of old songs. Dream A Little Dream and Tonight You Belong To Me are great. 

Foo Fighters Wasting Light

The Foo's are always good for some good rock songs. This one was a little weak for me Bridge Burning and Rope are great but I tend to pull the disc out before I get to the end. 

I do love that they put in a piece of the reel from which they recorded. Since it was done all analog in Dave's Garage. I like bonus gifts in my CD's

I also watch the Doc. Back and Forth a little while ago. It's a good watch. I recommend it.

Armstice: Mission Bells

This little fella is accollaboration between Beatrice Martin (Coeur de Pirate) and Bedouin Soundclash frontman, Jay Malinowski.

I like it it's a short disc 5 songs. Mexican Flamenco style throughout. I've popped it in the stereo quite a few times. 

Arctic Monkeys Suck It and See

Oh Arctic Monkeys So much I want to love everything you put out. But I can not. 

THeir first two albums were great I listen to them all the time. Then Josh Homme produced your third. Quite a different sound acid rock but had a couple of tunes on there that I could get into. THis one... I've tried listening to it 5 or 6 times I've tried to find something that I liked. Sorry boys. I think I'm out.

...I'll probably still buy there next album hoping them head back to their original sound.

And This Little Beauty.. Black Frost.

When ever I'm in New York. Musicians ask you as you walk down the street, "want a cd?" So I decided to say, "Yes." I grabbed it and walked away. Thanking him as I left. He quickly caught up to me.

"Whoa, usually I accept a donation for this." 

Alright, I gave him a couple of 1's I had in my pocket. 

Then he wanted to sign it for me. 

Spelled my name wrong. 

Throw the CD in the car stereo, and it won't read. 

Maybe it's been burned as an mp3.

throw it in the computer, it's blank. 

I've got a blank, signed cd from Mr. Black Frost. And it's not even signed to the proper Neil.

Non-MUSIC

Vibram Five Finger Shoes

I like running and I like bare foot running. But I get blisters from the rocks and pebbles  on the road and in the paths, plus cut here and there. 

These things are awesome!

Good grip light and it's almost like barefoot.

They look a little odd but quite comfortable. 

I'll be running in the Warrior Dash race July 8. It's got mud pits ropes fire... standard race terrain. 

Some Photos

I played the Celebrate Barrie Festival. It was rainy attendance Poor. 

I broke 2 guitar strings on the same song. I finished the song anyways.

This is not a magic potion. It is a bottle of Beer. It costs $100. I was not allowed to drink it.

That's all I got.

-Neil

www.eyeswide.ca

New York New York! aka lets make fun of Gina because I was perfect in every way.

So I'm a little late on this here post.
Let's see if I can make it through the whole journey.
If you get tired of reading just skip to the bottom and watch the #22 music video with footage from New York. All filmed on a handy iPhone.

May 25th to May 31st I was not in the country, well I started off in the country.
Gina and I were drivin' to New York State for a collection of 4 shows.
May 26 Piano's
May 27 Kenny's Castaways
May 29 Freddy's Bar
May 30 Boulder Coffee Co.
THis was supposed to be a vacation for the 2 of us. The idea started out as a week in Cuba. Somehow we end up in New york with me working 4 out of 6 days...I can't say any of it was Gina's idea.

The morning of we were getting ready for our drive (it's only a 9 hour trek but we would stop half way in Pennsylvania somewhere to allow for more drinking in more cities)
I'm off getting a car wash, who get's a car wash the morning of a road trip? Wasn't my idea.
When I return home one of the dogs had diarrhea in the bed room narrowly missing my luggage.
Thank God.
Since i was out getting a pointless car wash I did not have to clean up said poop.

i'm one who likes new CD's when starting out a drive. Since I no longer steal music I went and bought
Fleet Foxes.

I've heard alot of good things.
Sadly good things did not come out of my car stereo speakers.
I don't believe I've removed a CD from my stereo faster.

Fleet Foxes are not road trip music. It's Folk with a hint of Chamber thrown in.
I've tried to listen to it 3 times.
I give up.

Finally on the road, I threw in a mix CD I made USA A-OK.
As we are listening
less than a minute in Gina turns and says.
"You did put the Beatles on here you shit."
Gina does not like the Beatles. When in the company of anyone other than me she tames her disdain for them by saying something like "I don't hate them I just don't like all of their songs."
I say  "They are one of the biggest bands in the world (or were)."
"I'd argue that."
I end this ridiculous conversation, since I am clearly in the right.
But I'm sure to hear more about it when the second Beatles song comes on...track 7.

Close to the border Gina takes over the drive.
I've been fretting, (oh ya I fret!) about the border because
1. I don't have a visa
2. I have 4 shows in the US
3. I have t-shirts and CD's hidden all over the car.
I've been told if they catch you trying to come over and play shows without a VISA you can get banned from playing there. Not sure if it's true but worry about it I did.
I figured a polite smiling girl would be better to talk to at the gate rather than a growly bearded nervous musician.
And of course in all my intellectual glory I was right and we sailed on through.
TO celebrate I said lets stop in a tiny town and find a place for a pint!
We find a place called Weedsport, NY

A tiny little farming city I believe. The only bar we could find was called CJ's pub.
It had a wood screen door hat would slam closed behind you and above the washrooms read:
Mr. John L. Crapper and Mrs. John L. Crapper, respectively.
It had a collection of old white, grey, and balding men all seemed to be wearing white or tan shorts that showed an awful lot of thigh and white New Balance or fake nike runners all stained green from I'm assuming cutting the lawn. There were a few black and tan vests as well.
Happy Hour is a fantastic thing. It is not allowed in Ontario, because it is believed to encourage the act of getting wasted. I believe that an establishment that's purpose is to serve alcohol does that on it's own.
Here the pints were 2.50 but if you got a Coors $1.25.
I tried Magic Hat #9. Horrible.
"It tastes like food." I said passing it to Gina
"More like plasticine." Was her thoughts
She went with a Yuengling, which she quite enjoyed.
I think anything is enjoyable after Magic Hat #9.

Gina's iphone was not cooperating. It was our gps map and communication device to those back in Canada. All around it was pretty necessary, we thought. But it did not think so and refused to work.
So we had to travel old school with those giant paper maps that fill your car window like a sun shield.

Map folding is an art I do not have.

Gina has made a few odd comments and questions while on the road. Here are a few:

"What state are we in?"- after just crossing the Ontario border.

"There's not electricity in the car is there?"

"The more we drive south it gets colder. That's not right."

We are listening to a song by the band Jet. I say:

"10 points if you can tell me what country this band is from."

"California."

"Not a country, nice try."

Both of us were really surprised at how nice the drive through norther New York was. We didn't really have any idea what it would look like. but there are beautiful hills and mountains. THe only think that was not great were the dead deer every 3 miles and the amount of toll booths. Those yanks sure love toll booths.

Gina's a rule breaker.

Cutting through Pennsylvania, we were thinking of stopping in Scranton, only for the sake that we like The Office and that is where it was based but ended up stoping in Clark's Summit, on the outskirts.

Standard hotel that hosts lots of meetings. Seemed like a lot of sales men that worked for Verizon and Bell floating around everywhere. Best part was when we went to the pool there was a group of 8 men discussing a meeting they just had. Gina takes off her towel to get in the pool and the men, who were not able to see her turned there chairs and watched her swim. Very smooth gentlemen.

Nothing really happened in Clark's Summit. Except the discovery of this awesome salad.

It has Steak, Chicken, prawns, cheese and french fries. I believe there may be some vegetable like substances in there somewhere too.

In the paper Gina read that Scranton University students were being given the option of dropping out of school for  $100,000 to start their own business. Oh, you crazy American economy. 

THe next day we were heading to New York. still struggling with the paper map we made it to Manhattan. 

We had some time so Gina wanted to go to Staten Island and get up inside Lady Liberty. 

I on the other hand was wary about how much time we had before rush hour traffic. I had no interest in driving during that. Gina didn't realize you had to take a ferry over, so we went to Staten Island park or something like that and looked at her backside. What a sexy back it was. Justin Timberlake.

Off we go to our Hotel. We had to drive through the Holland Tunnel to get where we was gettin' to, and right before the tunnel was a sign it read "Lincoln Tunnel Left" and starts turning.

"What are you doing?"

"I have to go left!"

"No we go through the  Holland tunnel it's is right there!"

"But it said to turn left."

"No the sign said Lincoln Tunnel left."

"What do I do? Get The map."

"We don't need a map. Just turn around."

So we get to our hotel at 14th and 8th. We are on the 5th floor. There are no elevators. Carrying my backpack, a guitar and Gina's suitcase in 30 degree weather was a work out. But having to climb up and down this thing multiple times was horrible. Everyday our key would quit working we'd have to go back down to get a new key scanned then back up again. My favourite time was when Gina for got her phone after just coming down, so back up I go, to find our key didn't work, then down get it switched over back up to get said phone then back down. I was damp.

THis hotel was in a great area across the Street Was Mc-something I can't remember but it was an Irish pub with not one but TWO happy hours. 12-7 and 12-2. Such a magical place it was. So basically 2 for one drinks every time we went in! on one particular afternoon I wanted a quick drink before we set out. I paid for the one and ended up drinking 5. (went back and looked up name McKenna's)

We met an Irishman by the name of George.

He moved to the US to marry a girl just to get a VISA after the marriage she got pregnant by some fellow in Texas. Because of some Texas law because they were married the kid had to be his. Crazy Texans didn't they know it was just a paper marriage?

He was a fun character but got drunk super fast. I'm not really sure if he stopped drinking from the night before to when we met him. 

Another awesome place we discovered was this one

La Taza De Oro

This turned out to be our favourite eatery on the trip. We only got in twice on the third day it was closed for Memorial Day. But those black beans and rice were glorious!

Alot of the trip was exploring pubs restaruants, pizza places. Stuff like that. We were carelessly consuming. round bellies were expected on our return.

The first gig was at Piano's, upstairs. This was one of the hardest room I've ever played right up there with the middle bar of Ottawa's Pub 101.  There was a bar underneath us that had full bands. and a bar just down the stairs that had a dj or someone's ipod blaring. plus we tended to be a bit of an overflow area so loud conversations were held all around us. Needless to say not many people were listening. but Gina went around and managed to score tips from everyone up there. Nothing wrong with a hot chick asking for donations.

Our friend Kelsey Warren from the band Pillow Theory came out and toured around town with us. You can see some of him in the video for #22. We went to Frites a place that does not put cheese and gravy on their fries. Here I thought it was common place.

THe next day We were going on a tour and Gina has a pouty look on her face before we leave.

"What's wrong?"

"You didn't say how I look."

"Well you didn't say how I look either."

"Yes I did!" 

"What did you say?"

"I don't know but when I remember I'll tell you."

"Ha!"

Little did she know I remember what she said and it was the day earlier...I have nice calves apparently.

We do some exploring Rockefeller Centre Trump Tower, Central Park, half naked rippling abbed guys in Abercrombie Fitch. 

The usual stuff. 

At a stop light Gina says "I have a feeling." goes back to a short fellow at the light post and puts $5 in a satchel over flowing with bills. "How did you get like this she asks?" Turns out he was born that way. he has no legs and on his hands only thumbs. A perpetual thumbs up. She asks him some more questions I wasn't paying attention to turns out he is a public speaker, and a hip hop manager. He shows us his iphone. I  show him my old 90's flip phone and then he shows us his ipad2. Gina you just gave money to the wealthy. When we said good by there was a slight, should I shake has "hand"? I kinda wanted to I grab his nub while he plays thumb war with the rest of my hand.  Ah well, next time.

The next venue was quite a bit better. Kenny's Castaways. The sound was great, people hung out and listened to my whole set and I got to see Gina get up walk over and tell a bunch of cackling girls to be quiet and watch the show. Kind funny. I've been hearing more and more about performs telling the audience to be quiet. 

During the evening instead of a drink up we did a pizza challenge. Every pizza joint we came across we got a slice. Here are a few Fat Sal's, Two Boat, Brick House, Ravioli. I didn't write down any other names but we went back to the hotel quite full. My favourite was probably John's, great pizza!

Brooklyn was the next stop. Freddy's bar in South Slope. The downtown area was dead Memorial weekend on a Sunday 30plus weather. People were at BBQ's or out at a cottage. Not a great evening for music. but play on we must. before we went to the bar we found a different bar called Quarter. I loved it nice vibe stiff drinks a great staff. After our gig we ended up back there for 3 or so more!

Freddy's bar is pretty unique but I was surprised that the bands were playing in the side off shoot room. down a hallway behind a door. The night started off with a full band then me, then an folk musician. Kind of the opposite of a standard musical night. The band( their name escapes me even though I bout a shirt, something about a Shark) Had cue cards for their chorus'. So even though we've never heard the songs we were singing along. Good idea, says I.

After the show we played a little guitar in the street while sitting on the back of a Truck. a roof top party was going on and some boys came down to bring us beer. Once again, I love New York.

Rochester was the next stop packing up in Brooklyn we sail northward. Nothing exciting on the drive as I recall. Just more dead deer. 

Didn't see a whole lot of Rochester. But the Boulder Coffee House is a great venue. I'll be trying to get back over there sooner than later. just quirky art great lay out and shares an outside patio with a barbecue joint next door. 

This is a long blog. I may have missed something here or there but that is the gist of the vacation/tour. 

Here's is the music Video to #22 with footage from our New York venture. Hope you enjoy!

-Neil

www.eyeswide.ca

Wait one last Gina dig...

WHile conversing with someone I don't remember who, The Beatles came up again.

"I'm just more into music from the 40's and 50's." says Gina

"Oh ya who?" ask I.

"Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe..."

"What?!?"

I'm pretty sure the Happy Birthday to the President doesn't count as a top 40 hit.