East Vs West Tour Blog: Day Number COWS!

Before I played at The University of British Columbia's Dairy Farm Research Centre I had a day off and thought I'd splurge on a day at The Harrison Hot Springs resort. It cost $150 but the front desk woman upgraded me and gave me parking for free.
Not too shabby, It had an adults only hot spring pool and and after 10 until 1 it was also adult only in all the pools.
I thought, Awesome! I might have some, fun party it up a bit. Have some drinks.
Get my robe on...

And head to the pools.
All old people.
Mostly Asian old people.
I was a white pail giant swimming back in forth of a pool edged with cranky looking elders with the occasional pot bellied balding man.
Also the "Pool side bar" was in a building beside the pools and no alcohol was permitted in the pool.
Alright.
Let's get out of hear and head to the local Pub. It's a tourist town. Gotta be something going on there.
Nope 5 dudes sitting at the bar playing Keno Poker.
I had a Beer and a whisky and back to the resort and after a quick look back at the pools again to find nothing. To bed I went.
In the morning I went for a jog. out on the lake they had a crazy inflatable jungle gym thing.
but it was closed.

One more dip in the pool with the elderly Asians and it was off to The Dairy Farm.

THe farm is filled with 19-25 year olds who are getting a degree or doing research on how to better the milking procedures of dairy cows or how to make them comfortable.
People are watching them eat, sleep, graze and running different kinds of tests.
Every Thursday the kids have a big dinner and stay up to party despite half of them having to get up at 6 to feed or chase the cows. Also despite the fact that they have the weekend off and could hold off their weekly dinners by a day and not have to get up.... Kids eh?

I was shown around and had to wear these killer blue plastic booties. So I don't spread my disgusting Ontario disease to the calfs.

Calfs have a tendency to get sick. What kind of sickness? Diarrhoea (hard word to spell) and pneumonia (another hard word to spell). So they keep them separate for a while.
THis guy was born 6 hours ago.

I heard lots pissing and shitting by the cows and found that they love these grooming brushes.

This one pushed another cow out of the way so he could buff his head.

After the tour we went to the pool.
Hay bales placed in a rectangle covered with a tarp. It was quite nice but needed to be continually refilled because of a hole in the tarp.

Slowly as work was ending more people showed up.
Everyone who was there was from other countries, Germany, Brazil, UK, France.
and soon after a slip and slide was created.
the Brazilians got hand soap and spread it out around the tarp when that ran out they got dish soal then laundry soap and even used powdered laundry detergent.

 butt shot

laundry detergent.

I played songs into the night which was very dark as there was no real light where I was playing and made an amazing meal to a flurry of mosquitos. Not the best situation for the performer (i.e me)
But a fun time was had. after the show we blared dance music from the speakers which drew the cops over. I went to bed in the front yard in my tent around 1 the same time they started up the slip and slide again.
They stayed up dancing until 3 or 4.
Sleeping was difficult, but I had a show to get to the next day.

Here's the Moose Jaw Karaoke I promised

Also here is my youngest nephew incorrectly saying Truck Boat.

Right now i'm in Regina for a house concert I'll be in Saskatoon tomorrow at Lydia's Pub. 

Manitoba's gig was cancelled. 

MANITOBA! Why must you forsake me to drive across you every year?

You should know the drill.

Twitter @eyeswidemusic

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-Neil "Crabapple Pucket" Crowe

Tour Days ...... Do I have Diabetes? Maybe, the answer lies below!

No.
But I thought I did, for two days.
Couldn't stop peeing. Every hour and a half the urge would come on sudden and I'd have to go right away.
I immediately googled  "can't stop peeing" and The computer said: YOU HAVE DIABETES.
I was playing a house concert in Calgary and it came on mid song I started hopping left to right. The people probably thought he's really grooving to this song.
Nope, that was just the pee dance. After the last chord I put down the giutar and ran into the house.
Came back out picked up the guitar again and said sorry but I really had to pee and continued on with the show.
I even started a chart on my iPhone entitled Pee.
It had one entry.
Then my Diabetes got cured.
Yup, I cured it.
I assume.

Clearly I have given up on the daily blog. That lofty pledge should never have been made.
Right now I'm in Okotoks, AB just south of Calgary, I had planned to pitch my tent on the local camping grounds but it seems it is severe thunderstorm warning. I just sat in my car for 20 minutes waiting for the hail and rain to end before running into a local pub.
I don't remember what my last post was and refuse to check.

THe camping gods have been with me so far. as I've been able to sneak in to camp sights late at night and leave in the morning with out having to pay.
I did put in my dues in Red Deer when I had to set the tent up in pouring rain and found that there was a leak over my face.

Swift Currant was a fun gig just like last time everyone was drink and we went out afterwards to a local karaoke bar. I walked in to two boys "singing" To the Windooooows! To THe Walls! Til the Sweat drip down my balls!"
Gotta be the first time I heard Lil' John on the ol' karaoke box.

I've been in mostly anti party mode for this tour. I've turned down numerous shots and usually sneak away from the after show shenanigans. I'm trying to make these touring ventures a profitable venture and the less hangovers I have the better.
I still drink everyday though.

THe house concert in Calgary was fun. Kids are hilarious. they love music they don't care if you're playing a slow song they still stomp and dance like Lady Gaga was blaring on the stereo.
One weirdo sat right in front of me with a bowl of raspberries and used a stuffed bears paws to mash them into paste. when that was done he got up and left leaving the bowl and the bear.

I've just finish playing 5 shows in BC.  I really like driving around BC the mountains are fantastic and the shows were a lot of fun. I think White Rock was my Favourite even though I was competing with the Vancouver Folk Fest and Bruno Mars.
I spent to much time by the water as you can see from this photo of my leg. the top part is vanilla the bottom is hellfire.

OK I'm going to figure out what I'll be doing tonight. 

Next blog I will write about my gig at the University of British Columbia's Diary Farming Research Centre. It involves a Slip and slide. 

PLus I may have a video compilation of my 3 attempts at singing a sugar Ray song at a Karaoke bar.

Fun stuff!

- Neil Crackowe!

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East Vs West Day 5 6 7 -Brandon, Moose Jaw, Swift Current

So The Daily Blog is hard to do.
I've missed two days already.
After Kenora I drove out to Brandon, MB no gig just a stopping point on the way to Moose Jaw.
found a trailer park that had the most mosquitos.
Because it's just not camping if you can't get bit multiple times.
Setting up the tent was horrible and every time I opened the car door to get something ALL the mosquitos would go into my car. The morning drive was interesting. Since the 1st 2 hours was me battling the little bugs.
Stopped in Regina for some Busking and it was pretty good because I found a Farmers Market. but as soon as the market ended it cleared up and 3 young fellers sat beside me rolled 3 joints and started smoking. I guess this is allowed in Regina as there were families and police around.

Moose Jaw, you are classic Moose Jaw.  A low turn out at the cafe lead to an early evening. I went back to my friends who I was crashing with and we drank home brew beer then got the clever idea of going to Champs a local bar/club.

It was Karaoke night and had a bout 10 people in the place.
More beer and we were singing songs we didn't know. everyone was horrible that night.

Pilsners'

singing partner

THis lead to a drive through burger king via a racist cabbie. Smoking in the car telling us jokes that involved the N bomb. Classy place this Moose Jaw.
Right now I'm in Swift Current, waiting for the evening I've got a few hours to kill I'm extremely hot and tired I need a nap this booth looks comfy....
-Neil "Crackajack Collins" Crowe

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East Vs West Day something....Day off, Blog meh

I had a great day off breakfast, a work out at Crossfit, boat out on the lake, Seadoo, I got to cook dinner and playing dominoes.
I'll be leaving Kenora tomorrow and heading to Saskatchewan.
I'm not sure what city I will be in tomorrow but Wednesday I'll be in Moose Jaw for another gig.
Here are 2 photos.

Lake of the Woods is grand, And I'm ready for sleep, sadly leaving tomorrow but I'll stop in when I return from BC.

-Neil Farson Crowe (anyone know what I'm referencing to with Farson?)

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East Vs West Day 5 a few days off in Kenora now that I'm 33.

I have played 2 shows and now i'm taking a few days off. not by choice.
But had  I made the decision of the western part of this tour earlier I would have locked in more gigs.
But a few days off are alright since this is a momentous occasion. I turn 33 today. I'm sure drinks and glutenous behaviour are in order... and a recovery period may be needed.
Last Night!

I forgot to mention this about Wabigoon...
Pappy's Cafe takes a loss on every show they put on. Yet they still put them on to help out touring musicians. and the feel it's good for the community. It's extremely rare to come across on a venue like that.
There's a chance I may have to rethink this Blog a day I have trouble thinking of funny things to write about everyday. Maybe you readers can suggest some things you would like me to write about on the road. Yes I think you should do that.
Let your suggestions begin!

I just looked on facebook and saw this dustin Hoffman clip and found it quite touching.
Definitely worth a 3 minute watch.

I'm out,  every one have a whisky, a beer, and a hug for me.

-Croizar the Spectacular, or just Neil

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East Vs West Day 4 Kenora

I played the Bijou tonight. Wasn't sure if I was just going to jam or have a set to myself or what. but it ended up me playing all night. also some street toughs put 2 holes in the wall (Street tuffs being brightly coloured, baggy tank top wearing 20 year olds whose dads own/rent a very expensive cottage)
I am making this incredibly short because I don't want to ruin my Blog a day rule but after it was known that my birthday is sunday I was given tequilla, more than one time, so I'm tired and ready for a nap. this blog post blows and I know it.... Happy Brthday me.
go here and like things I sAY FROM TIME TO TIME WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/EYESWIDEMUSIC
-Love, Chinchilla Hobart Crowe aka Neil

East Vs West Day 3 WabiGOOOOOOOON!

Not many people know of Wabigoon's existence.
But it's there an hour before Kenora.
Pappy's cafe the 1st official show of the tour.
I was set up in my rock star motel called Evening Star Motel

I was fed and on went the show.

It's a small cafe and they have locals that come to most of the shows. 

It was a good start small and intimate, I regaled them with tales of my life. 

Teased a 10 year old that sat front row and sold a handful of CD's. mixed in with the $10 door charge not a bad night. 

Before the show I downloaded a book called A Career In Music specifically for the CAnadian environment, apparently the first of it's kind. I started reading it before the show and it was beginning to make me feel bad like I haven't done all of this I should have done to prepare for this tour! What am I doing? So I put it down. Not the best thing to read before the 1st gig of the tour.

I've got to say I'm quite tired right now and am not in a blogging mood. 

I have some notes in my phone from yesterday that I forgot to put in yesterday's blog. 

So you can have that. 

Every time I look at a music mag and I start to read A Tribe Called... I get excited! 

Is A Tribe Called Quest Touring again?!? 

No. No they are not.

It's always A Tribe Called Red.

It saddens me to no end.

MC Hammer.
Yes, Mc Hammer.
He had a cartoon. It was playing soundless on a tv in a bar. I tried to follow what was going on.
Hammer hangs out with an old dude might be his dad or a future him. He moves he same way.
and Hammers shoes have eyes, I guess they are alive or magic.
Scene change
There are 3 villains a man dressed as a witch,  a round eye patched evil doctor, kind of like Dr Robotnik from the Sonic video Games, and an evil Fashionista. The worst of them all!
She was just a lady in a trendy business suit with glasses.
Scene change.
There are 2 boys in a building Hammer floats up to... rescue them? when he gets up in the building the 3 villains, (Man Witch, Evil Dr, and Fashionista) are crammed in a machine with a big boot swing from the bottom like a pendulum, they drive to the building and the boot starts kicking and knocking down or shaking the building and Hammer and the boys jump out of the window.
I look down to type up this amazing show and look up to see the Evil Fashionista walking Hammer into a jail cell and then his eyeball shoes now have a mouth and bite Hammers fingers.
I felt I may have missed something so I stopped watching.
The end for to night.

-Tired Crowe Crowe

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East Vs West Tour Day 2 Thunder Bay

I actually played my guitar today.
But first the beginning.
I woke up saw it was dark and thought, ah hell, it's cloudy. Looked at the clock. It was 4:30am.
Those clouds were actually night.
I managed to get back to sleep but only until 5:30, and that was it.
So I hit the road fairly early. by 6am.

about 7 hours of unhindered drive time.
Here 's the driving action taking place.

If you drive with a smile the time it takes you to get from point A to point B is the same as if you were not smiling.

Pretty exciting stuff.

I was in Thunder Bay and as always it hit TACO TIME. (this time no celebratory photo was taken.)
arrived at my mothers house, where she had a list of things for me to do. Trim the tree move this downstairs, put this on the thing...
Followed by you're only here one day? but I had other things...
Went for a jog then tried to go to work (work meaning play music)
Headed down to the waterfront where people were walking hither and tither. set up my busking gear (guitar and guitar case) and played some tunes.
I chose a spot away from the people due to the loud fountains and construction work.
I thought that being near the monuments was a good place, but people. 4 songs deep no one would come near me. They would take the path around as to not have to feel the guilt of not throwing my some change.
I found a different spot over looking the Sleeping Giant and earned..... $2!

After I packed my gear in the car I came back to take this photo. 20 people were walking by....

So today was a flub, thank God I only spent $100 on gas in the last 2 days :/

After my musical defeat I  headed to Granny's house. we had a walk.

I think she's giving my camera attitude.

Then followed it up with a scotch. 

And yes a digestive biscuit.

This book was my grandfathers shelf. I found the cover amusing.

Every time I come back to my home town I forget alcohol is cheaper. $5.50 pints.

I gave it the old college try to find some drinking friends venturing to 4 venues but alas I was always sitting alone. 

Just as well, I don't know why I was wanting to go on a tear since my tour profit is only $2.00.

Alright. that ends #2 I'm going to go read Questlove's autobiography Mo' Meta Blues.

Also if you follow my tweet you now realized I lied. 

Tomorrow Wabigoon! For the 1st Actually gig!

-Percival "Neil" The Crowe 

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East Vs West Tour: Day 1 Sault Ste Marie

Last night had a few beverages with so friends before I pulled a runner from Barrie.

It was a grand old time.
Best part  of the night was that I learned my friend Ian's License plate says Boys 424

I asume that means he's had 424 boys and counting.

Then I had to get up early and pack the road weary Mazda.

And drive away from these two.

I am not playing a show Tonight, nor will I tomorrow.
Some would say "that's not a good tour."
And I say "You try booking 2 months of shows and have everything line up perfect!"
The only place worth playing is Loplops but being a mid northern Ontario venue (the only cool place to hang and listen to original acts between Sudbury and Thunder Bay.) Makes it difficult to get a gig. I played here once with a sour turnout on a Wednesday night. Which I predicted.
 New city, solo acoustic player, people of the town are not too keen on new music at first. Plus I have went to a Free show at a hockey arena where Bedouin Soundclash and Broken Social Scene played. There may have been 200 people there. (The same arena where Kiss has played and sold out or close to , I'm guessing)
but with such a bad turnout for those 2 well known Canadian bands what hopes does li'l ol' me have.
Not much as it turned out.
So every time I come through I swing by have a few beer and chat with Steve the owner or his dad and be on my way.
Maybe I'll play there again maybe I won't who knows.
Here's me drinking a beer.

I had planed on busking for a bit, but as I cruised the main strip and waterfront areas I realized no one was anywhere. 

Really. Downtown I saw 4 people. 

Waterfront had about 6 fisherman in different spots and the odd old lady every 150 meters. 

No real point other than practice. 

So I went for a jog instead.

I told Steve about the busking dilemma. 

He said "Ya, It's a lazy town."

Saw this while running the waterfront. (Gotta stay active while touring, sitting in a car and drinking beer at night does some physical damage I've learned)

I wish I had been quick enough to take a photo of the large woman who was clearly only in an electric wheelchair because of her weight. Legs splayed out left and right jetting across an intersection holding 2 large pizza's on her shoulder. It reminded me of the Disney movie WALLE, where the humans let themselves go and can't do anything for them selves also restricted to electric wheelchairs.

So there you have it Blog number 1 on Day number 1. 

Who doubted me?

Ya I figured it would be you.

So look forward to my 2nd post about Thunder Bay where I also do not have a gig. 

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and buy the music on Bandcamp.

The event page for the tour is Here.

-King Neil Crowe the 14th